shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
