Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
