Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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