At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
