what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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