I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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