So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
