I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
