no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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