"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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