We're like a lot better than the average bears
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
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