It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize