wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman