Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right