i don't like sucking hair
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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