your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
