You don't have asthma, your pregnant
wat bout pragnant strippers??
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
