You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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