I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
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Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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