I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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