i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
be right there i have to get my cape
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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