so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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