I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
