I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
