If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
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i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
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Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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