You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
