you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
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he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
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I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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