I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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