She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The Olympian is in my bed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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