I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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