Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
