I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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