how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
