I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
