so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
