after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
