Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
