I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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