we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
