THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
