1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
