i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
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