I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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