i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize