That's intense
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you didnt know i had herpes?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We are two peas in an std pod
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
