If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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