i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
