Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
