a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
