I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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