I wannas sexs uuuuu
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
