You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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