what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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