She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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