she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We were destined to go to rehab together
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
