You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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