i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
