Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think i got beer on your cat.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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